its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
