she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
