It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
