Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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