She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
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Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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