I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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