My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
