fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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