I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
