Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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