If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
