id be glad to
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
