This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
