It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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