you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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