I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
