she smelled like a LAN party
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
