So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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