I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
