whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
