It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
