Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
