Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
