just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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