I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
