She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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