I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
