I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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