Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
