God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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