I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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