STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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