Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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