I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
