Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
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