I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
