i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
