I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
