hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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