anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think my moral compass just broke
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize