Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
