I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
