He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
