At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
what the fuck happened to the tacos
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
