I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
