WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
