Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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