Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
