What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we made out on top of his cat.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.