one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.