It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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