And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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