No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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