the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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