Rock
Scissors
Fuck
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
