You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
