I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
