he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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