Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
