The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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