oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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