White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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