I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
