I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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