I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
