I hope mine doesn't look like that
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
