i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i came on her dog
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
