It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
