He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
