We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
