if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
